About the Covid-19 Survival Guide
The COVID-19 Survival Guide is a project in collaboration with Fox and Owl, the creators of The Trans Teen Survival Guide, on what it means to be a young trans person and how to deal with topics such as gender dysphoria, hormone blockers, surgery and more. They also run My Genderation, a film project that celebrates trans lives and trans experiences. The article below compiles the five different episodes that we published in June 2020, amidst the pandemic.
Finding Your True Identity While Being in Isolation
Coming out is always hard, especially if you’re not sure how people are going to react. Doing so during COVID-19 times can be even more complicated. But it can also be a lot easier than you thought. It all depends on your situation and your family.
If you’re not quite sure whether or not your family members would be supportive of you being LGBTQIA+, then there are also ways to approach the topics without directly saying you’re queer first. You can strike up a conversation about something you read, show them a video you thought was cool, or talk about a newspaper article. This could offer you a way to see how they react to queer issues before taking a step to talking with them about it directly.
The most important thing is to be safe. If you are really worried or know they aren’t supportive, then maybe right now isn’t the right thing to discuss these issues or come out. This situation isn’t going to last forever, and maybe it is better for you and our mental health to seek out the support you need online and then when things go back to normal you can build a support network outside the home to be there for you when you do come out to them or have these conversations.
In the meantime, there are endless amounts of great resources and groups online that you can seek out to be yourself and talk about your identity. These places will be invaluable for you if you think it’s too difficult to come out right now.
If you do decide to come out during lockdown, then make sure you have some of those people or groups set up to contact if things get tough. Make sure you have a good network around you to help you if you need, even if it’s an online helpline, a friend or a group. Just make sure there is a place which you can go to to talk about it, because often we need that to vent.
Sometimes parents and family members also need their space to breathe and think about things, so even if they aren’t initially receptive, give them some space and maybe give them some links or information brochures. Sometimes they need their own support, so if there are any parent groups in your area, tell them about them.
Just remember that there will always be people out there that will support you, and that you are never alone. There is a community out there that will accept you with open arms.
Practical points/tips
- Make sure you feel safe enough to come out and that you have a support network in case they don’t take it well. Try to identify a family member that might be more accepting than others and approach them first.
- Think of whether it feels better for you to do it in person, in writing or via messages. There is no right or wrong way to come out!
- Consider whether or not this is the best time to come out, and whether it’s worth doing when things have shifted a bit more.
- Find resources online, get support from support groups or helplines – there are always people out there that will support you, so don’t feel like you’re alone in this!
Reducing stress/anxiety in Lockdown
Anxiety and stress can be a bit overbearing for you, and that’s totally normal, too. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to do anything or constantly be busy, so don’t be too hard on yourself. These are really strange times and most people aren’t quite sure what they should be doing. So just find something that works for you. If you’re looking for things to do, here are a few suggestions:
- Get reading: there are so many great books out there to read, whether that’s queer related books or not! Jessica Kingsley Publishers has loads of great queer titles that have been published recently. There is also some great queer related fiction out there. Get searching online and find what fits you!
- Do some home yoga or other exercise. There are so many different programmes on youtube that you can do. Now is the perfect time to get into something like that!
- Connect with your friends online: via social media, zoom, discord or skype. Set up a time to speak with one or more and just hang out, virtually!
- Find games online that are easy to access, such as Animal Crossing, Sims or puzzle games that can keep your mind occupied on something else. There are also many great game titles you can get via services like Steam, Origin, Playstation or Xbox.
- Set up a board game night: Gather a few friends, buy and download Table Top Simulator via Steam and load your favourite board games to play virtually. Alternatively, if everyone has the same board game, you can just make one person ‘the host’ that controls the board and the rest contribute and explain their moves to the host and they move their characters or control your progress.
- Watch a film/series together. Is there a favourite series you and your friends have? Set a time every week that you watch it together via shared screens (i.e. via Discord) and enjoy! There are great series/films available online on various platforms like Netflix. Simply search for LGBT related content and you’ll have so much to choose from!
- If you’re into geeky things, then why not set up a virtual D&D group via roll20.net? It has so many great features that are fitted for different systems and allows you to create your own adventure virtually.
- Cook or bake: Either just on your own or with your friends. You can set your device up so that you can chat while you’re baking or cooking. It’s a great way to spend time together while also taking care of yourself and making sure you’re getting a good meal in.
- Set up a virtual karaoke! Bring some friends together via zoom, and use karaoke versions of songs on youtube and sing and dance and have fun!
- Set up a pub quiz: Get a group of friends together, someone can host the pub quiz and do it virtually.
- Get creative! Most of the things you like to do in the outside world can also be done remotely. So use what you have and find something that works for you.
- Or just take it easy, do some breathing exercises and enjoy this quiet time if you can. You don’t have to be doing anything except just being yourself, so don’t feel pushed to do anything if it’s not your thing. But doing something is always going to make you feel better rather than doing nothing at all (at least for longer periods of time).
Practical points/tips
- It’s totally normal to feel anxious/unsure during these times. A lot of people feel that way too, so know that you’re not alone in this uncertainty.
- Find something to keep you occupied: whether that’s connecting with friends, tending to a hobby, exercise or something that makes you feel good.
- You’re not alone and there are always people out there you can talk to. Reach out!
Access to Hormones and Health Care
During times of lockdown, you might have limited access to health care or even your hormones. Health care services are stretched to the max in many places with nothing but acute responses to the virus outbreak being available, with many surgeries or other services on hold.
This doesn’t only apply to trans related health care and most health care that isn’t deemed acute is probably placed on hold. You should still be able to have access to your prescriptions through your pharmacy, however. If you can’t, there are also some private doctors or services that will honor a prescription you had – if you can afford to pay for the service. If you can’t, you can also seek support from a local trans group and on how to access hormones during these times.
If you were scheduled in for surgery and it’s been put on hold, just remember that this won’t last forever. There will be a time where surgeries will be scheduled back in, but right now health care systems are focused on dealing with COVID-19. There will be a time where you can get your surgery, and once you get it the waiting won’t matter as much. Just remember to take extra care of yourself, remind yourself that this isn’t permanent and find things to look forward to once this all ends.
Practical points/tips
- If you’re unsure how lockdown might affect your access to health care, get in touch with your provider or local support groups. Your health care provider should give you answers to your questions and there are likely other people going through the same. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask questions!
Living in lockdown with unsupportive family members
Living with family members that don’t support you or recognise who you are can be incredibly stressful and hard, especially during the lockdown. It’s really important that you take good care of yourself and you find avenues where you CAN be yourself, or at least feel connected to other people who do support you. Many support groups have moved their services online, either to online video calls or providing support via email or phone. There is a plethora of resources, videos and other content online that you can watch and listen to make yourself feel better and better about your situation. There’s also a wide range of amazing and supportive books you can read.
So there might be a Facebook group or a discord server or a Tumblr where you can find people who are also in need of support. There might be national helplines that you can call or email that can support you in a time of need. Maybe there is a family member in the house that is possibly a bit more supportive than the others, and maybe you can seek them out and try to talk with them about this.
Practical tips/points
- Find avenues where you CAN be yourself: this can be support groups online, calling a helpline or making video/phone calls with friends that understand and support you.
- Find content online that makes you feel better about yourself, like videos or vlogs that talk about being queer and stories that you can relate t (i.e. My Genderation on Youtube).
Find a book, a video game, or a hobby to occupy yourself and remember: this won’t last forever!
Privacy and Space to Speak with Queer Friends
During lockdown, you might not have any access to your local support groups or queer spaces. This is probably very difficult for you if you count on these spaces for support and recognition. A lot of support groups and organisations are thankfully offering online services and places you can call in or email to get some support, so check out what the services you’ve been using offer.
Some groups are also doing online video calls where people can hang out and chat via the internet. If you’re craving some human interaction with like-minded people, try suggesting it to whoever leads your group that you do a watch party online, or just a chat where everyone shows each other their pets or talk about your day.
